Fear of Being Alone
Hi Nick,
I have a problem which may sound really silly. I have had what you call an
insight into how things are here, and I don't think I like it. The insight
is, that this is all me, my own creation, that I am the only one here and am
all alone. You talk about it on your site in several places, but I just feel
afraid. How can I deal with this?
By the way, I must thank you for being here.
It is great to know, real or not, that you are here for people like me to
approach and ask these questions. Thank you so much.
Matthew
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Hi Matthew
Thank you for your question. The biggest issue
with all this so called 'Non-Duality' business, is the knowledge that, for
this to be the case, then this is all me; that I am indeed creating
all my family and friends, even my own body and everything I see and
experience through it, each and every moment.
The fear you feel will pass, as you practice being aware of
where you are and of what you are feeling, as this way you become more the
stillness and presence behind the emotion, rather than focusing on the
feelings themselves which are fighting to survive by sucking you in.
I would like you to consider something though. I would like
you to consider the alternative idea, which is the accepted normal situation
but one rarely looked at in any depth by most of us. Sure, the fear can
arise as one sees that this is your own dream and as such you are all alone
here, but were this not to be the case, can you see that you are already
alone? You are alone in your body, separate from all the billions of other
bodies, all bumping into each other and fighting for what they feel they
need for their own comfort or well being. These separate little bodies
affect each other in different ways before dying, leaving a few other bodies
a little sad for a while until they too move on to other things, or their
own demise.
So, you now have the two
possibilities. Either, one is in a separate body, competing with others
until dying, alone; or you realise your own intelligence or consciousness is
creating your body and all the others; in which case you are still alone,
but now you are not separate since you are creating all of them. Sure, you
are still alone, but you are no longer lonely, as you are complete. In fact
there is nothing to be separate from, since you are creating everything. You
cannot die in the usual way, as you know there is no death; the dream simply
ends. You cannot lose anyone or anything, as everything that is, is within
you already. You do not need to struggle or strive, to search for the
answers or to prove yourself. You do not need to do anything, unless it
suits you to do so, since you know everything is created by you for you to
enjoy. Even if the enjoyment involves some element of pain sometimes, that
too is part of the miracle you have created here, of having a separate body
with which you can interact with all others as if they were separate.
So, don't worry about the fear of being
alone, as this will pass. Just practice being aware of where you are and of
what you are feeling, and enjoy the peace this brings behind the thinking
mind with its problems and worries. There is an old saying, 'There is
nothing to fear but fear itself'. There is much truth in this when it comes
to seeing the nature of reality here. You have nothing to fear as nothing
can hurt you, when it comes to seeing the truth. The fear is simply the emotion that is enjoying being separate
beginning to see it isn't.
Keep going Matthew. All's well.
Nick Roach
Nick Roach Teachings
www.nickroach.co.uk
PO Box 429. West Byfleet, KT14 7XA |