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Three Requirements for Lasting
Contentment
(click here for link to
update2012
at bottom of page )
I have been asking recently (in myself) why my
life, the external circumstances of it, had been so difficult since becoming
Enlightened, or Self-Realised etc.? I had become what has been referred to
as The Living Truth, and had looked forward to it in the belief that it
would be the end of emotional suffering; and soon after I was in a
relationship with a woman who was loving and wanted only to be loved - so
what else could be missing?
Well, the problem was with my work, and the
stress I was experiencing due to the amount of work and the
management style, and this was then exasperated by more stress at home as we
tried to put facilities in place through which we could escape the stress of
work. All in all, the last 18 months have been particularly tough.
However, finally there has been a dawning, and
it seems I have been shown the reason for the continued troubles and the
lesson it was teaching me: There seems to be a third aspect involved in
being able to enjoy a truly tranquil life which is perhaps obvious once
pointed out (but then that is the way of much of the truth). The lesson for
me is that one can be Enlightened or God-Realised and can be in a truly
loving physical relationship, but if one is still in a stressful situation
then there will be no lasting peace. Obvious, yes?! ...maybe; but it may not
be something we tend to think about when we read about Enlightenment and how
to find it, in an attempt to find a solution to our problems.
Therefore, I say here, for the first time in my
teaching, that to live a truly contented life there are three aspects to it,
and a person cannot genuinely real-ise (make real for them) any one of them
until it is time; but any one or a combination of them may be experienced or
even realised to some extent, in any order, during their life. They are as
follows:
-
Self-Realisation (uninterrupted Enlightenment or
God-Realisation of The truth)
-
Loving Relationship (sharing lasting physical
love with his opposite 'in form' - experiencing an ongoing joining and
exchange of energies and openness)
-
Peaceful Existence (little stress caused by
external stimuli)
As I said, the above may seem obvious, but it is
only by breaking it down that we see it for what it is...
Eastern Masters are often regarded as the
ultimate example of how one should live, and indeed many do seem to be
Enlightened from their teachings, but it is their peacefulness that tends to seduce us (and
this
is often the result of them sitting for years on a hillside (or the
equivalent), just
'being'). Then we dig a bit deeper and read of how at least some are
reported to have struggled
enormously with their pact to remain celibate, for example.
Then we have 'normal' folk who are not Enlightened
in the sense of being 'God-Realised'
but live a very nice life nevertheless, possibly in a country environment (natural, rural,
peaceful, let's say),
and maybe in a loving relationship, and yet may still have the
occasional nagging question about who they are and what it's all about.
And then there is myself: I have no questions
about the Truth of life or what it's all about (besides a mild curiosity at
times perhaps as to what it is that life is teaching in a particular
situation), and I am in the loving relationship commonly sought after, but
life has given circumstances which has produced continued stress for a
considerable length of time. And at last I see that this was the lesson:
Often the lesson is simply to show us what we do
not want (or to give us so much of what we do want so as to put us off it
for good). The lesson in all the struggling I have endured was to show me
that lasting contentment cannot be achieved, even in an Enlightened person,
if the circumstances of their life are painful and long-lasting! (powerful
lesson, yes?).
So, what is the point of this?
Only to say that there are three areas required
for the individual to be completely satisfied and content. And as that is
what most (all?) of us seek in one form or another, it seemed like a pretty
good lesson to share.
However, having stated the above, I am now going
add that in a woman the 'Realisation'
bit may not be experienced in itself as a separate 'informational' aspect like in Man. For
example, as Sally (my partner) progressed, she soon found she had no
questions about anything related to love and life (unlike before we
got together - at which time she had a need for something but she was not
sure exactly what). She would still not say she is 'Enlightened', but she
now has love and she does not experience the same stress at work as I do,
and therefore feels totally content with life. This would seem to be the
Woman's Enlightenment or Self-Realisation; and certainly her
'God-Realisation', as her Love is God (Truth behind existence).
So, I am going to say here that in order to be
completely satisfied in all aspects of his life, Man will need to be Self-Realised
(or whichever term is used, but so he has no questions about who he is and the purpose of being here etc); he
needs to be
in a truly loving physical relationship (so he gives and receives companionship
and physical love, and has presence/consciousness with another - his reflection in form); and
needs peaceful circumstances in his external life (so his daily life is not painful)...
Of course, each and all the above only applies when one is
ready. One cannot enjoy the peace before they are ready, any more than they
can love before they are ready, or be Enlightened or Self-Realised before they are ready.
This is all still a journey, and while it can help knowing what to look
for along the way, the journey must still be travelled.
Thank you
Update 2012
p.s. It is now the first week of Jan 2012 and I
have received an email asking how the above piece would be changed following
my developments since I wrote it (towards the end of 2010). Something was
obviously changing in me as I wrote it, because it has been a bit of a
rollercoaster ride since:
1) First, at the end of 2010 and into 2011, it
was discovered that I am dyslexic. More-so, that this was the cause of all
my difficulties at work (and indeed my difficulties going back all my life
to my childhood). At 38 years old we found that I had managed throughout my
life to cope with many of the symptoms, but this had taken its toll and was
causing stress.
2) One morning in March 2011 I felt a sudden 'giving up' inside,
and a new phase was entered, which at the time was introduced to me as being
called 'No-self' but later I adopted the name 'Liberation'. (
Liberation )
3) A trying 'transition' period at work occurred
between January and July 2011, and then things changed. The new knowledge re
my being dyslexic meant I was able to put into place new practices to make
the work experience more 'user-friendly'. I was also permitted to reduce my
working hours, so Sally & I work only 4 days per week with Mondays off,
and generally the working environment is far more relaxed.
So, considering the above, what do I have to add to the piece above, about
the requirements to lasting contentment and specifically living with
stressful circumstances (one of my 3 requirements)...?
Well, first I would say that the above piece is
still correct to me. However, there are a couple of points that I would like
to elaborate on, one quite obvious, and the other somewhat more subtle:
I am still in the same situation and doing the same job in the same
place, and anyone outside may suggest therefore that it is my 'Liberation'
(new state of mind) that has meant that the job is no longer stressful,
implying that stress does not occur to a Liberated person because of their
internal state of mind regardless of the situation...
However, one must not overlook the fact that the
finer points of my day-to-day role have indeed changed: with the new
knowledge of being dyslexic and the added support from the employer due to this;
and reducing my hours of work, which effectively makes every weekend a bank-holiday weekend.
Also, one must not lose sight
of the fact that this place is all one 'being' - one's own being. The
external circumstances of one's life are a reflection of a Truth 'within'
one's self.
Another example: Let's say there is a chap in a
prison. His cell-mate is a violent, aggressive, highly abusive nutter, and
our chap lives in a state of constant heightened awareness, forever under
extreme pressure and
fighting for his survival, aware that at any moment he could be plunged into
a situation of extreme pain and even death. The guards don't care, and
actually encourage the aggressive cell-mate to take out all his rage on our
(relatively) innocent friend...
Then, one day, our chap is moved to another
prison, sharing a cell with a really nice bloke and they get on well and look out
for each other; but at the same time knowing really that there is no need as
this prison has a totally different atmosphere and attitude and there is
very little personal danger to either of them on a day to day basis. Life is
good, despite still being in prison...
So, our chap is still in prison, and to
observers outside they may think nothing has changed, but to our chap the
experiences are world's apart.
So what is the point of this story?
The first point I am trying to make is the
obvious one: that
sometimes an apparently minor change in a situation can flip the experience
on its head, turning a hellish experience into quite a pleasant one.
The second point is more subtle, and is a
reminder that one's external situation is a formal representation of the
truth (need) within. It is no coincidence that during the same period of
time that I was changing 'within', the external situation was changing
too...
So, we have a bit of a 'chicken and an egg'
situation: The internal state of mind changed, meaning one is not so
susceptible to stress; and this in turn meant that the external situation
changed because there is no longer the need for it to cause any stress (as
the lesson has been learned and one has moved on), and so the cycle
continues...
The question could therefore be posed: If the
Liberated person was to be put into a long-term situation which is extremely
'stressful', would they be stressed? and it is a fair question. In answer, I
can't help assuming that it would not (or could not) happen, and I
will explain why: As with the prison scenario above, whatever situation a
Liberated person was to find themselves in, I suggest the circumstances
would change to make it an easier experience than it could otherwise be; and
therein lies the magic of Liberation! As within so without! The In and the
Out, the Yin and the Yang, both aspects of reality become one smooth
experience.
Thank you
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